Day one: Sunday, December tenth.
We rest from Kalamazoo, then find our way to O Hare. We fly into Columbus. It's a crowded flight,and Rob and I just barely manage to get seats next to eachother. We get the rental car, then go to the Ramada Inn. We decide to hunt down some food. We drive around for a good hour but can't find any open restaraunts. Several look open, but we get there and realize they just didnt turn off their lights. So after about an hour, we give up and settle for bad white castle drive thru food. On the way back to the hotel, Rob takes a wrong turn and we pass about four different open restaraunts on the way back to the freeway. Figures.
Day two: Monday, December 11th.
I get
up, order some room service, eat a little and watch Law and Order. Around
three, I decide to wander down to the supposed business center with its
supposed internet access. I ask two employees where it is and all I find
is a locked door. I finally find someone who can let me in, and wander
up to the "business center". It consists of a copier and an old, broken
Packard Bell. I tried to find an employee to ask if there was anywhere
else and I find an extremely rude, extremely stupid woman. Fuck. After
going back to the room, disgruntled, I call a comic shop that's maybe a
mile down the road and they agree to take my comic book. They'll even pay
me upfront for four issues. So I go over there, drop off the issues, and
buy Rob a King Kong for Christmas.
When
he gets home, we both complain about the condition of the hotel. A lot
of the amenities we were promised arent there: no working business center,
no computer desk, no mini fridge. We resolve to move to the residence inn
the next day. I give Rob his gift early, and he is pleased.
Day three: Tuesday, December 12th
Holy shit, is it really only Tuesday? I dont leave the room all day. So I work on the comic book and read. When Rob comes back from work, we go to the residence inn. No business center, but atleast they have a fully functioning kitchen so we can buy groceries instead of overpriced hotel food all week.
Day four: Wednesday, December 13th
The Residence
Inn is right in the upscale part of town. It's basically a big strip mall,
filled with Starbucks, the Gap and Barnes and Noble. I'm not sure what's
worse: the "you aint from 'round here" white trash we saw near the Ramada
or all the wanna be upper crust Ohioans shopping at Pottery Barn.
I go to the Barnes and Nobles, spend too much money on books, then go to
the Starbucks. (sadly, the best place around to hang out.) Everyone oohs
and ahhs about how great the area it is. They seem to think it's really
unique and in fact ask every out of towner "so how do you like our little
area here?"
Rob
gets back and we go out to dinner at a Tuscan Grille. The food is mediocre.
We're there for a couple hours. We were going to go to Virgin to look around,
but it's an ice storm and we cant even walk on the sidewalk. So we go back
to the car, only to find that someone vandalized the windshield wiper on
the driver's side. It's dangling by a thread. Fucking ingrates.
Day five: Wednesday, December 14th.
I go to Barnes and Nobles during the day and buy another book. I also go by Virgin and get Rob a cannibal movie for Christmas. I sit and read. A lot. I practically have to threaten bodily harm to get housekeeping.
Day six: December 15th,
Rob calls the front desk around seven a.m. to let them know we'll be having late check out. They really give him a hard time then tell them it's okay but he has to pay for half a day. It seems the same housekeeping staff that couldnt be bothered to go near my room to bring me towels and coffee cant understand the concept and repeatedly bang on my door to ask when I'll be leaving, until I snap very rudely at one of them. Rob gets back, informs that he'll have to be back on Monday to finish the job. We go to the airport but our flight is delayed by three hours. Aggravated and eager to get back to Chicago, we decide to kill time by going to the airport bar. I get drunk on soco until we finally board and get into Chicago. We're back at the apartment by midnight.
In summary
While I loathe Chicago and can't wait to move, I must say I'd rather be here than Columbus. Hell, I'd rather be in Milwaukee than Columbus. I believe that a giant wall should be placed around the state. Better yet, a concrete bubble. No one from Ohio should be allowed out and none of us should have to go in...