:: a world of zombies ::

:: Friday, February 6 ::

WAR OF THE PLANETS/WAR OF THE ROBOTS

I was going to review these movies separately, but I decided that separating WAR OF THE PLANETS from WAR OF THE ROBOTS is a bit like separating Corey Haim from Corey Feldman. It can be done, but the result is, well, not very pretty.

Anyway, some of you may remember that in 1977, a little movie called STAR WARS came out, and apparently enough people went to see it to spawn two sequels, one actually superior and one vastly inferior. And then over twenty years later, it spawned two feature length video game previews that a lot of people deluded themselves into actually enjoying. Oh, it also spawned a made-for-television holiday special full of bad songs, badly sung. One of them by Jefferson Starship. Actually, that was spawned by Satan, but he wouldn't have done it if STAR WARS hadn't been a hit.

And like just about any other hugely successful film, STAR WARS spawned imitators. Lots of them. And one of them, a little film from Turkey that's already been examined here, was the greatest movie ever made. There was also MESSAGE FROM SPACE, a fine Japanese film from the late, great Kinji Fukasaku (BATTLE ROYALE, BLACK LIZARD, and THE GREEN SLIME! Clearly he was much better than me). Japan also gave us Godzilla director Jun Fukuda's WAR IN SPACE, which is also known as WAR OF THE PLANETS, but isn't the WAR OF THE PLANETS that we're here to celebrate today. No, that particular WAR OF THE PLANETS comes to us from that magical wonderland known as Italy.

It's pretty common knowledge that nobody can imitate a hit quite like the Italians. Also, nobody can flog a dead horse quite like the Italians, but that's neither here nor there. Within just two years of the success of STAR WARS, the Italian film industry had given us Luigi Cozzi's awesomely entertaining and important STAR CRASH (featuring der uberstar David Hasselhoff himself), the underrated Aldo Lado's curiously underappreciated THE HUMANOID, and today's subjects, both of which came from Alfonso Brescia, under the pseudonym of Al Bradley, which is nothing compared to the pseudonym given to Aldo Lado's pseudonym for THE HUMANOID - George Lewis! I kid you not.

I've been assured by my physician that attempting scene-for-scene plot synopses for these films could result in massive brain hemorraghing, so I won't really try. WAR OF THE PLANETS, the first of these films, stars British actor John Richardson (ONE MILLION YEARS B.C., BLACK SUNDAY, countless other Italian films. He was also apparently a serious contender for the role of James Bond at one time) and a bunch of people I haven't seen in anything else. It also features, according to the credits, a special guest appearance by Mickey Pilgrim, who isn't anywhere to be found at imdb.com. Anyway, Richardson plays a hotheaded spaceship commander who, if this were a cop movie, would be referred to as a 'loose cannon' by his superiors at least once. His ship goes into action to defend Earth from an alien attack. They're successful, but during the battle, the ship is damaged and has to land on a remote planet where they discover a race of aliens who are being oppressed by a robot controlled by a giant computer of some kind. Anyway, lots of stuff happens, and then the movie ends with one of those twists that's meant to be shocking, but it's actually pretty silly.

WAR OF THE ROBOTS, however, is a totally different movie, starring Antonio Sabato (he was in BARBARELLA, but the more culturally refined among you will no doubt remember him as Toblerone in Enzo Castellari's ESCAPE FROM THE BRONX, which isn't meant to be confused with ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK. No, not at all.) as the heroic Captain John Boyd. It also features the same people that I didn't know from the first movie and Giacomo Rossi-Stuart as Hey Wasn't He In Kill Baby Kill?. Oh, and the elusive Mickey Pilgrim. Our hero's a hotheaded spaceship commander who is trying to rescue his girlfriend and an old professor from some androids in silver jumpsuits and blonde Prince Valiant wigs, which make them look like the coolest garage rock band who never existed. His ship goes into action to defend Earth from an alien attack. They're successful, but during the battle, the ship is damaged and has to land on a remote asteroid where they discover a race of aliens who are being oppressed by the androids. Anyway, lots of stuff happens, including a great fight involving these really cool swords, one might even call them sabres, that are made of light. Man, I wish I'd thought of that. That Alfonso Brescia is one creative guy. There's also a space dogfight in which Sabato, Rossi-Stuart, and another guy have to defeat the overwhelming alien attack force, which is under the command of General Gonad. I wish I were making that up.

While they lack the flashy, pulpy appeal of STAR CRASH, both WAR OF THE PLANETS and WAR OF THE ROBOTS are just cheap, disjointed, and stupid enough to qualify as avant-garde, and that's quite an accomplishment. Really, there's one scene in ROBOTS where our heroes are led past these creepy old people in black robes to the throne of their queen while some spacey synthesizer music plays that I swear could have been shot by Kenneth Anger. If he made goofy sci-fi films. Both films toss in lots of hand-held shots, seemingly at random, that make it even harder to tell what's going on much of the time. Both films also have a nice low-rent look that seems derived more from Gerry Anderson's wonderful series SPACE: 1999 than STAR WARS, which is fine with me. The costumes in particular owe a lot to the Anderson show. Like many other Italian films, even the cheap and stupid ones, these movies do have some nice colors. I mean, we're not talking Mario Bava or Dario Argento nice, but nice nonetheless. They also share a lot of special effects footage. And actors. And sets.

Okay, so they're hardly 2001 or SOLARIS (the punishingly slow but brilliant Russian one, not that new thing), but I still love these two movies, just as I occasionally think that BUCK ROGERS is the greatest series in the history of television, or at the very least the greatest work of randomly blinking light sci-fi ever, even though deep down, I know that's not right. The greatest series in the history of television is Gerry Anderson's UFO. WAR OF THE PLANETS actually seems to borrow more from Bava's PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES than STAR WARS, only it's not nearly as pretty as Bava's film. WAR OF THE ROBOTS is closer to being a ripoff, what with the light swords and dogfights. They're both endlessly entertaining, but I would have to say that I prefer PLANETS, because, well, it's shorter. And the characters wear those silly red helmets all the way through. Both films do have cool electronic scores, and the piece that plays during the credits of ROBOTS could possibly pass for early Human League, or that stuff that seemingly hundreds of people make on their laptops nowadays.

Both of these films can be had on DVD pretty cheap from Fred Olen Ray's Retromedia, and although I lose sleep over why these are available and STAR CRASH is not, I have to admit that there's something strangely comforting about that.

And who is Mickey Pilgrim anyway?
:: Jason Hyde 3:46 PM [+] ::
...

WAR OF THE PLANETS/WAR OF THE ROBOTS

I was going to review these movies separately, but I decided that separating WAR OF THE PLANETS from WAR OF THE ROBOTS is a bit like separating Corey Haim from Corey Feldman. It can be done, but the result is, well, not very pretty.

Anyway, some of you may remember that in 1977, a little movie called STAR WARS came out, and apparently enough people went to see it to spawn two sequels, one actually superior and one vastly inferior. And then over twenty years later, it spawned two feature length video game previews that a lot of people deluded themselves into actually enjoying. Oh, it also spawned a made-for-television holiday special full of bad songs, badly sung. One of them by Jefferson Starship. Actually, that was spawned by Satan, but he wouldn't have done it if STAR WARS hadn't been a hit.

And like just about any other hugely successful film, STAR WARS spawned imitators. Lots of them. And one of them, a little film from Turkey, was the greatest movie ever made. There was also MESSAGE FROM SPACE, a fine Japanese film from the late, great Kinji Fukasaku (BATTLE ROYALE, BLACK LIZARD, and THE GREEN SLIME! Clearly he was much better than me). Japan also gave us Godzilla director Jun Fukuda's WAR IN SPACE, which is also known as WAR OF THE PLANETS, but isn't the WAR OF THE PLANETS that we're here to celebrate today. No, that particular WAR OF THE PLANETS comes to us from that magical wonderland known as Italy.

It's pretty common knowledge that nobody can imitate a hit quite like the Italians. Also, nobody can flog a dead horse quite like the Italians, but that's neither here nor there. Within just two years of the success of STAR WARS, the Italian film industry had given us Luigi Cozzi's awesomely entertaining and important STAR CRASH (featuring der uberstar David Hasselhoff himself), the underrated Aldo Lado's curiously underappreciated THE HUMANOID, and today's subjects, both of which came from Alfonso Brescia, under the pseudonym of Al Bradley, which is nothing compared to the pseudonym given to Aldo Lado for THE HUMANOID - George Lewis! I kid you not.

I've been assured by my physician that attempting scene-for-scene plot synopses for these films could result in massive brain hemorraghing, so I won't really try. WAR OF THE PLANETS, the first of these films, stars British actor John Richardson (ONE MILLION YEARS B.C., BLACK SUNDAY, countless other Italian films. He was also apparently a serious contender for the role of James Bond at one time) and a bunch of people I haven't seen in anything else. It also features, according to the credits, a special guest appearance by Mickey Pilgrim, who isn't anywhere to be found at imdb.com. Anyway, Richardson plays a hotheaded spaceship commander who, if this were a cop movie, would be referred to as a 'loose cannon' by his superiors at least once. His ship goes into action to defend Earth from an alien attack. They're successful, but during the battle, the ship is damaged and has to land on a remote planet where they discover a race of aliens who are being oppressed by a robot controlled by a giant computer of some kind. Anyway, lots of stuff happens, and then the movie ends with one of those twists that's meant to be shocking, but it's actually pretty silly.

WAR OF THE ROBOTS, however, is a totally different movie, starring Antonio Sabato (he was in BARBARELLA, but the more culturally refined among you will no doubt remember him as Toblerone in Enzo Castellari's ESCAPE FROM THE BRONX, which isn't meant to be confused with ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK. No, not at all.) as the heroic Captain John Boyd. It also features the same people that I didn't know from the first movie and Giacomo Rossi-Stuart as Hey Wasn't He In Kill Baby Kill?. Oh, and the elusive Mickey Pilgrim. Our hero's a hotheaded spaceship commander who is trying to rescue his girlfriend and an old professor from some androids in silver jumpsuits and blonde Prince Valiant wigs, which make them look like the coolest garage rock band who never existed. His ship goes into action to defend Earth from an alien attack. They're successful, but during the battle, the ship is damaged and has to land on a remote asteroid where they discover a race of aliens who are being oppressed by the androids. Anyway, lots of stuff happens, including a great fight involving these really cool swords, one might even call them sabres, that are made of light. Man, I wish I'd thought of that. That Alfonso Brescia is one creative guy. There's also a space dogfight in which Sabato, Rossi-Stuart, and another guy have to defeat the overwhelming alien attack force, which is under the command of General Gonad. I wish I were making that up.

While they lack the flashy, pulpy appeal of STAR CRASH, both WAR OF THE PLANETS and WAR OF THE ROBOTS are just cheap, disjointed, and stupid enough to qualify as avant-garde, and that's quite an accomplishment. Really, there's one scene in ROBOTS where our heroes are led past these creepy old people in black robes to the throne of their queen while some spacey synthesizer music plays that I swear could have been shot by Kenneth Anger. If he made goofy sci-fi films. Both films toss in lots of hand-held shots, seemingly at random, that make it even harder to tell what's going on much of the time. Both films also have a nice low-rent look that seems derived more from Gerry Anderson's wonderful series SPACE: 1999 than STAR WARS, which is fine with me. The costumes in particular owe a lot to the Anderson show. Like many other Italian films, even the cheap and stupid ones, these movies do have some nice colors. I mean, we're not talking Mario Bava or Dario Argento nice, but nice nonetheless. They also share a lot of special effects footage. And actors. And sets.

Okay, so they're hardly 2001 or SOLARIS (the punishingly slow but brilliant Russian one, not that new thing), but I still love these two movies, just as I occasionally think that BUCK ROGERS is the greatest series in the history of television, or at the very least the greatest work of randomly blinking light sci-fi ever, even though deep down, I know that's not right. The greatest series in the history of television is Gerry Anderson's UFO. WAR OF THE PLANETS actually seems to borrow more from Bava's PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES than STAR WARS, only it's not nearly as pretty as Bava's film. WAR OF THE ROBOTS is closer to being a ripoff, what with the light swords and dogfights. They're both endlessly entertaining, but I would have to say that I prefer PLANETS, because, well, it's shorter. And the characters wear those silly red helmets all the way through. Both films do have cool electronic scores, and the piece that plays during the credits of ROBOTS could possibly pass for early Human League, or that stuff that seemingly hundreds of people make on their laptops nowadays.

Both of these films can be had on DVD pretty cheap from Fred Olen Ray's Retromedia, and although I lose sleep over why these are available and STAR CRASH is not, I have to admit that there's something strangely comforting about that.

And who is Mickey Pilgrim anyway?
:: Jason Hyde 3:46 PM [+] ::
...

THE TENTH VICTIM (1965)

I hate reality shows. There, I said it, and I'm not one bit sorry.

Reality television is the bane of my existence. Every minute of reality television that airs lowers our society's collective IQ by at least 50 points (it must be into negative numbers by now). I do not care what happens to Paris Hilton or even know why I'm supposed to care. I don't care if the Bachelor finds true love or who the next American Idol will be or that the Richard Hatch who won Survivor isn't the one who played Apollo on Battlestar Galactica. Laughing at Anna Nicole Smith just makes me feel dirty, guilty, and depressed. And I won't even get into those horrible dating shows where horrible people with horrible haircuts and horrible clothes try to hook up to be horrible together. Or that one where the gay guys give some straight slob a fabulous gay makeover.

The thing about these shows that really confuses me is that they just keep coming, despite the fact that nearly everybody I've ever met complains about how awful they are. But somebody must be watching. Maybe it falls under the heading of 'guilty pleasure.' That's really the only thing I can think of. People complain about how horrible these shows are, yet can't look away or extricate themselves from the mire once they're in it. Which enables reality television to continue, because you can't scrape the bottom of the barrel when said barrel is, in fact, bottomless.

Elio Petri foresaw this when, in 1965, he made THE TENTH VICTIM. Actually Richard Scheckley knew it in before that when he wrote the story on which the film was based (The story was originally called 'The Seventh Victim' but the title was changed to avoid conclusion with Mark Robson's brilliant 1943 horror film of the same title. Something that sadly wouldn't need to be done today). THE TENTH VICTIM takes place in the 21st century, which seemed really far away in 1965. It's a world where comic books have become great literature, citizens are required turn their parents over to the state, and the Big Hunt is not only the most popular entertainment, but also a great technique for population control.

The rules of the Big Hunt are relatively simple. Each participant must complete 10 hunts, five as hunter and five as victim. Those who finish all ten hunts are declared 'decathletes', become national heroes, and win $1 million. Hunters and victims are chosen at random by a computer in Geneva and pitted against each other in a battle of wits that spans the entire globe. The organizers of the hunt justify legalized murder as entertainment by telling the participants that it is man's safety valve and that if the Hunt had been around when Hitler was alive, he would've joined, and WWII would never have happened. Still, all is not entirely well in the world of the Big Hunt. The Vatican disapproves, and there are greater restrictions being placed on where hunters can shoot at their victims. For instance, we're told that in Italy, where the bulk of the movie takes place, it's illegal to shoot in nurseries or some restaurants. Of course, we're also told that this is not the case in America, and somehow that's not surprising.

As the film begins, Carolyn Meredith (Ursula Andress) is on her ninth hunt, as victim. Her hunter tracks her to the Masoch Club in New York, where Carolyn does a bizarre dance act and then shoots him dead with a bullet-firing metal brassiere. She is then approaced by the Ming Tea company with a proposal to sponsor her tenth hunt by having her eliminate her final victim during a TV commercial for their product. She agrees to the contract and is off to Italy to hunt her tenth victim.

The victim this time is Marcello Poletti (the great Marcello Mastoianni), a fairly sad passionless man in a passionless world. Marcello's got a number of problems, most of them related to money and women. His ex-wife Lidia (Luce Bonifassy) takes all his earnings from the Hunt before he can get them, and his current girfriend Olga (the lovely Elsa Martinelli) wants him to marry her, but he pretends that his annullment from Lidia hasn't gone through yet to avoid doing so. He's so broke that all his furniture and comic books are repossessed and he has to rely on 20% of the profits from a sunset-worshipping cult he's formed to get by.

Carolyn approaches Marcello posing as a television reporter who wants to interview him at the Temple of Venus, where she plans on killing him in front of Ming Tea's cameras. Of course, they fall in love, eventually, after a courtship that can only be described as rocky and, well, if i told you everything that happens in this movie, there wouldn't be much point in watching it.

I love this movie. It's a witty, stylish sci-fi satire that takes place in a pop-art fantasy world full of inflatabe furniture, space-age architecture, and slick mod clothing. Of course, this world may look great, but it's actually a pretty passionless world where people seem incapable of really connecting and are only concerned with satisfying their own selfish needs. Which means it's not that far from the society we've built in the actual honest-to-goodness 21st century. It looks much much cooler, though, and I really wish the future had really ended up looking like this. If only this movie featured something akin to the internet, then it would really seem prescient.

You might think that by appearing in a flashy, stylish, satirical science fiction film, Marcello Mastroianni would be slumming, and that's a reasonable assumption to make, but the film manages to address issues such as personal freedom, familial obligation, and media manipulation with surprising wit and intelligence (director Petri's other two best-known films are the creepy horror film A QUIET PLACE IN THE COUNTRY and the Oscar-winning INVESTIGATION OF A CITIZEN ABOVE SUSPICION) and Marcello's performance is subtle and highly effective in conveying the disillusionment brought on by living in a world like this. And plus, in his close-cropped blonde hair, shades, and black turtleneck, he just oozes cool. As for Ursula, well, she always was more of a presence than an actress, and since she's dubbed by someone else in both the Italian and English versions, her presence is really all that matters here.

While it's not quite as extravagant as other 60s pop art spectacles like Roger Vadim's BARBARELLA or Joseph Losey's MODESTY BLAISE, THE TENTH VICTIM has a script that outdoes both of those more elaborate, expensive productions combined, and still manages to create countless memorable images like the sunset-worshipping ceremony that Marcello presides over or the roadside 'service' station where weary travellers can go for service, if you know what i mean. Late in the film, Marcello decides to set up his own corporate sponsorship deal, which involves a crocodile and its trainer, who speaks through an electronic voice box. And the crocodile's handlers wear the uniforms from Mario Bava's PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES. It may not be quite as great as Bava's DIABOLIK as pop art movies go, but this movie isn't too far behind. And the catchy europop score by Piero Piccioni (who also scored Radley Metzger's CAMILLE 2000) is a work of loungey brilliance that you'll be humming for days. Rumor has it that the soundtrack was Andy Warhol's favorite album.

Of course, as with seemingly every movie and television series ever made, there has been been remake talk about THE TENTH VICTIM in recent years. I, for one, hope and pray that it doesn't happen, because the end result will probably drop the 'dealing with issues in a sly, classy, witty, entertaining manner' element and go straight for the 'scowling people in black leather jumping through the air while stuff blows up and pounding techno/metal plays in the background' approach. As these things do nowadays.

For a relatively obscure film, THE TENTH VICTIM has been somewhat influential. Sadly, much of its influence was on Austin Powers. The first film in that franchise which really should have been a film and nothing more pays tribute to Ursula's bullet bra as well as using the name Ming Tea. Not exactly the most dignified of legacies for a film as clever, stylish and just plain fun as this.
:: Jason Hyde 12:33 PM [+] ::
...

Well its been an interesting year - I haven't checked in in a while, but Jason has done a great job entertaining both of you reading this evil thing we've done.

I'll regale you later with a recounting of the promethian knowledge I've saught, and subsequent maddness I've recieved watching movies involving former members of the Sugarcubes, but first, I've worked out the plot for a little project I like to call: Hitler Goes Bananas.

So I've been developing this idea for a long while - people like monkey movies, road trip movies, and to a lesser extent, 80's type spring break movies. But of the thousands of these movies that have been made, never ever has there been a funny monkey roadtrip movie involving both Spring Break and Hitler. That would be pure comedy, no? Of course it would be - It would be the Citizen Kane of the monkey-road trip-spring break genres. I can see it all now....

O.K. here's the scene: We find ourselves in Small College Town, perhaps in Michigan, Iowa, Wyoming, one of the Dakotas perhaps, Ohio maybe? Anyway, in Small College Town, on the campus of Obviously Fictional University (yes old OFU) we see two guys, one much like Tim Robbins' charming "Mother" character in "Fraternity Vacation" the other much like Tim Robbins' "Boe" character in Toy Soldiers. We see the two of them pulling some lame prank, as in fact always gets pulled at the beginning of movies like this. In the process we find out that the "Boe" character has been given his aunt's VW Convertible Bug (as a not to the ubiquitous Herbie of course) for the month while she is on a - I don't know - fact finding mission in Rangoon, say. That coupled with the fact that she is leaving behind a historic old maison at Popular Florida Spring Break Destination - Springbreakville, of course means only one thing - Spring Break! Yes beaches, babes, raging alcoholism, and free dwarves. No matter what time of year it is - its always time for Spring Break.

The two promptly get packed and head off on the road for Florida (America's Wang) and Spring Break. Along the way the pair spot a hitchhiking Chimpanzee, who they promptly pick up. And the three run afoul of some inexplicably creepy and outwardly evil men in suits - as a bit of foreshadowing, and some bewhite-hatted fraternity bozos, in case we need another sub-plot latter on... The three make tier way down to Florida, Boe Driving, Mother long since having fallen asleep and handing over the map, and navigating duties to the Chimp (who as it turns out has a lousy sense of direction). They wind through some swampy stereotypic backwoods, obviously lost, until they come apon a forgotten old maison which Boe mistakes as his aunts (it has been years).

The three go in, and find that the place may be old and forgotten, but its also posh, huge, and right on the outskirts of Springbreakville. They tool around in the house for a while, noticing a large room with some old machinery in it, what looks like a control panel and a wicker-doored closet which they open revealing a huge cryogenic chamber. Inside that chamber is an older Austrian Man with a funny moustache, and an odd haircut. The chimp reanimates the man after a series of mishaps that involve unexplained baloney, an errant lizard, and a tiki statue. The man's gruff mannerisms, loud German monologues, and propensity for evil quickly reveal that he is, in fact, Hitler. Hitler only ever speaks German (unsubtitled), but the guys always seem to get the gist of what he's saying - likewise he can understand their English.

Next of course comes the montage scene where the guys get Hitler made over to bad 80's music. And the Quartet heads off to Springbreakville for some good old fashioned debauchery. However when they get there, something seems, wrong. The denizens of the town are suspicious, the people there are not really partying, well not in any way befitting Spring Break anyway.

We quickly learn of the fiendish plot by the evil and creepy suit men to dispose of Spring Break once and for all. Our heros take action, which gives us a few more montage scenes set to 80's music, a few hilarious monkey-centric scenes, and of course the big "executing the plan scene, wherein everything goes wrong, one of their lives is in peril, Hitler ends up saving their bacon, and the 4 prevail...

Of course now there is a large gathering where the governor of Florida flys in via helicopter to thank the 4, and present them with a giant oversized key. Thank you he says to mother, who shoots back with "Its an honor governor, but don't thank me, I wouldn't have been able to do it without my friends, and, and Hitler! Yes of all of us, you should really thank Hitler, Hitler saved Spring Break.

A tight shot on Hitler who simply demands "now einen PARTY! schnell!", the crowd cheers, music swells up, everyone magically has drinks, and Hitler does a stage dive as the end credits come up.
:: das firegod 7:01 AM [+] ::
...

THE HUMAN LEAGUE - VERY BEST OF DVD

I can still vividly remember my first exposure to the Human League when I first saw their 'Don't You Want Me?' video on MTV way back in 1981. Everything about that video seemed so incredibly right that it literally changed my life. The group's measured, detached cool, singer Phil Oakey with his pale face, slicked-back hair and black suit, that ALIEN poster on the wall, the references to film and filmmaking, and last, but not least, the fact that the music was created entirely with synthesizers made it seem like it was coming from another world. Of course, since I was watching it in Peru, Indiana, it's pretty safe to say that it was coming from another world. Seeing that video, along with hearing Devo for the first time, was one of the defining moments in my life of musical appreciation.

Little did I know then, but the Human League already had a long and impressive history before 'Don't You Want Me?' exploded worldwide, turning them into bonafide pop stars and almost single-handedly making it okay to like synthesizer music made by guys in makeup in America. The Human League were born in the gray industrial town of Sheffield in the north of England, also home to Cabaret Voltaire, with whom the early incarnation of the band had much in common. Originally calling themselves the Future, the band (which also included Martyn Ware, Ian Marsh and 'director of visuals' Adrian Wright at the time) was influenced equally by Kraftwerk, Donna Summer, the BBC Radiophonic Workshop, Walter/Wendy Carlos, and a steady diet of science fiction movies and television. Their first album, 1979's Reproduction may well be my favorite album of all time, with a prescience matched only by John Foxx's contemporary Metamatic. Around this time, the band was declared the 'future of music' by no less than David Bowie, while John Lydon dismissed them as 'trendy hippies.' Equally brilliant and ahead of their time were early Human League releases Dignity of Labour and Travelogue. But all good things must end, and the original configuration of the Human League called it quits in 1980. Ware and Marsh formed Heaven 17, while Oakey recruited a couple of schoolgirls (Susan Sulley and Joanne Catherall) he saw dancing in a club and continued on to fame, fortune, inevitable fall from grace, and eventual comeback with the Human League. All of which can be witnessed by watching the band's new VERY BEST OF DVD. If you can track it down.

The disc opens with the Human League mk1's brilliant 'Circus of Death,' a song about murderous drug addicted clowns rampaging across England that manages to reference Hawaii Five-O along the way. Basically a live performance video, it's one of the relatively few filmed documents of what an early Human League show would've been like. With slides of everything from WAR OF THE WORLDS to CARRIE to TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE projected behind the band, it's not difficult to imagine the impact of seeing something so strange and futuristic must have had on audiences of the time. Up next is another live early live clip for 'Empire State Human,' a song about, well, being really really big. It's basically the same format as the 'Circus of Death' clip, but with slides of Doctor Who (Tom Baker model, of course), Peter Falk as Columbo, Adam West as Batman, the Kennedy family (as well as the Addams Family), and Tony Curtis, among others, cementing the Human League's reputation as a great geek band with impeccable references.

Then its on to pop stardom with the three videos from their groundbreaking Dare album. First is 'Love Action,' which opens with an homage to THE GRADUATE. Then there is 'Open Your Heart,' which is actually pretty terrible, with a plethora of goofy 80s video effects that have not aged well at all. The Dare era is rounded off, of course, by 'Don't You Want Me?' and even though its an edited version that's presented on the DVD, it's still just as impressive as it was in 1981.

Not too surprisingly, the band had a notoriously difficult time coming up with a proper follow-up to Dare, and so they released a couple of stand-alone singles while working on the next album. First of these is 'Mirror Man,' another catchy, albeit somewhat downbeat, pop gem that features the first appearance of a non-synthesized sound (a bass guitar, to be precise) on a Human League record. The video is fairly enjoyable, with Oakey appearing as a sort of ghost who only exists in the mirror until he 'beams down' to join the band at the end. Overall, though, it's a bit drab, and not especially memorable, except for the repeated speedboat crash footage. '(Keep Feeling) Fascination,' however, is a great video for an obscenely catchy song, with the band playing in a completely grey room (even their instruments are grey) within a house in the red 'you are here' dot on a map. The moment where a boy kicks his ball into the dot only to have it, and his clothes when he chases after it, change from white to red is pretty priceless. The band does, however, look a bit like the rouge truck ran over them, then backed up and did the job again.

The long-awaited follow-up to Dare finally materialized in the form of Hysteria, the release of which was heralded by the single 'The Lebanon.' This has always been a controversial song in the band's catalogue, both for its use of electric guitar and the famously derided lyric 'where there used to be some shops, is where the snipers sometimes hide.' Personally, I've always loved this song. The guitar part isn't too intrusive, and rather like the work of John McGeogh (Magazine, Siouxsie and the Banshees). As for the infamous lyric, well, it's a bit goofy, but it's the sort of charming goofiness that can only come from the most well-meaning form of sincerity, and as such, I'm quite fond of it. The video's okay, basically a live clip, with a fairly gooney audience that appears to be borrowed from one of Falco's videos. It's here, though, that Oakey begins sporting a dreadful mullet/stubble combo that sticks around for the next few videos. It's not pretty, especially when combined with eyeliner and lipstick.

Then it's on to 'Life on Your Own,' a song that I really used to dislike but which has actually quite grown on me, although why it was chosen as a single is beyond me, as it's a fairly low-key, downbeat affair. The video's great, though, referencing THE OMEGA MAN so well that you expect Oakey to start shooting at hordes of albino mutants in monk robes at any time. Shame he doesn't, though.

Diverging briefly from Hysteria is the 'Together in Electric Dreams' video, actually a collaboration between Oakey and Giorgio Moroder for the film ELECTRIC DREAMS, in which a computer falls in love with Virginia Madsen. It's a nice song, but the video's dominated a bit too much by footage from the movie for my tastes. Geeks will be amused by Oakey's Judge Death T-shirt, though, and there's a cameo from Moroder himself. 'Louise' is the last of the Hysteria videos, as well as the end of the mullet. It's a nice-looking video, with great black-and-white photography, but the song's always left me bit cold. It's not terrible, but it's not particularly striking either.

After Hysteria failed to repeat the success of Dare, the Human League traveled to America to work with the Jam and Lewis production and songwriting team, and the result was Crash, an album that's actually rather like a crash. It's not pretty, often depressing, yet somehow you can't look away. Actually, in all fairness, the first single 'Human' is pretty good for what it is. Of course, what it is is a sappy synth ballad. But it's probably the CITIZEN KANE of sappy synth ballads, and it did give them their biggest hit since Dare. The video's nice, too, with lots of water, no mullet, and positively ginormous earrings on the ladies. The less said about 'I Need Your Loving' the better. It's a nightmare of terrible fashion, worse music, and dubious rapping from Oakey. In other words, a textbook example of what usually happens when a perfectly fine British group comes to America to make a record. The last Crash video is for 'Love is All That Matters' and it's basically a compilation of clips from the band's earlier clips.

Things start to improve with 1990's 'Heart Like a Wheel' which is a pleasant enough update of the classic Human League sound, and a pretty nice video to boot. Things go downhill again, though, with 'Soundtrack to a Generation' which demonstrates why the rest of the Romantic? album was pretty disappointing. Susan and Joanne are tarted up and flashy, in a Hollywood kind of way, Oakey looks like he could be fronting the Cult, and the whole song has a flat and listess quality to it. And having the girls shout 'Holy cow!' throughout doesn't help much.

Luckily 1995's critically admired album Octopus restored much of the League's fading dignity, as the video for the pure pop wonder 'Tell Me When' testifies. The group looks invigorated, stylish, and younger, and they sound more committed than they had in years, probably because they finally got back to doing what they do best, crafting memorable, catchy pop songs from purely electronic sources. The second single 'One Man in My Heart' is a nice ballad showcase for Susan, and the video's awfully pretty, although after watching it, I'm pretty sure I could go make a capuccino. Curiously, the third Octopus video, 'Filling Up with Heaven' is missing from the disc.

Which brings us up to 2001 and 'All I Ever Wanted' from the most recent Human League Album Secrets, and their dignity is fully restored. Minimal, cold music mixing with a catchy chorus and terrific singing, this song's a highlight of the best album they've done since Dare, an album that mixes several Travelogue style instrumentals in with the pop. It's better than anything any of the League's contemporaries have been doing recently (especially Gary Numan and his recent goth metal direction), and the video's really excellent, with the band walking through futuristic white sets while singing the song. Shame nobody bought the album, though.

The disc is rounded off with a nice selection of extras, including four Dare-era Top of the Pops appearances, including one for 'Don't You Want Me?' that ends with the band covered in silly string. There's also two 1995 performances from Jools Holland's show, including a particularly impressive one for 1990's 'The Stars Are Going Out,' which may be the most underrated Human League song ever. There's a nice lengthy interview that will only appeal to the most dedicated fans, but they shouldn't miss it, particularly to see Oakey come off as the nicest, most self-deprecating man in music. And to hear the band's charming Sheffield accents

Toss in some features for your PC, the most amazingly clear and loud sound I've ever heard on a music DVD, and this disc really becomes a must. It can be a bit of a trial to find it in stores, though, but it's definitely worth the effort.

For more information on the Human League, I highly recommend visiting http://www.league-online.com/, which has up-to-date information, reviews, images, and a whole lot more, and http://blindyouth.co.uk/, which is absolutely the best collection of information on the band's early pre-Dare days that's ever likely to exist.

And if you want to see a great animation of Davros falling in love with Stephen Hawking to a robot voice cover of 'Together in Electric Dreams' visit http://www2.b3ta.com/hawking/

:: Jason Hyde 3:54 PM [+] ::
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yeah, i know...it's been a long while since anything was posted here...so over the next few days, i'll be adding some more movie reviews, and maybe even some music reviews for both of the people out there who care...


:: Jason Hyde 1:35 PM [+] ::
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I have seen the light!

And by 'the light,' I mean that I have seen STALKED, a 1968 film produced by the Lutheran Church and directed by Rolf Forsberg (co-director of the scare film pseudo-documentary THE LATE, GREAT PLANET EARTH, narrated by Orson Welles!).

Admittedly, I've been in a bit of a rut recently when it comes to movies. Sure, I've been watching a lot of them, but most of my time's been spent revisiting things that I already loved, or in the case of TARGETS, hadn't seen in ages and had completely forgotten how brilliant they are. Or just watching LAST MAN ON EARTH for the upteenth time. But it's been a while since something come along to make me fall on my knees and give thanks the way I did when I first saw TURKISH STAR WARS, WILD ZERO, THE ABC OF SEX EDUCATION FOR TRAINABLES or ORGAN. Until now. Until STALKED.

STALKED opens in a carnival. Our protaganist is seen walking amongst the crowd, always filmed from behind. His thoughts (most of the movie is related via interior monologue. And the voice is Barry Sullivan from PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES!). He goes on at great length about how weak, unpredictable, and coarse people are while we're shown endless scenes of the yokels enjoying themselves at the carnival. 'Fools,' he tells us as a one-legged man hobbles by on crutches, 'to be exploited, not pitied.' Then it's on to the freak show, where we see midget Siamese twins, and a bearded lady cackling away while some hideous man pokes a stick at her. So basically, it's only few minutes into the film, and already I'm speechless.

We follow our anonymous protagonist into a wax museum, where the guide is showing the crowd a tableau of Salome and the head of John the Baptist. After a really weird moment where a girl strikes the same pose as Salome and stands perfectly still for a moment, the narration begins again. We learn that our 'hero' is the sculptor of the wax figures on display, and that he prefers wax to flesh because the (incredibly creepy) figures never age and can be polished with spit. Then he turns as the guide shows the crowd a wax crucifixion scene. The narration tells us that our hero doesn't love this one, and he didn't sculpt it, after which he completely loses it and pulls the curtains shut before collapsing. His assistant suggests that he take a vacation to get some rest, which seems like good advice, considering.

Cue the credits. Cue also the film's turning to stark, high-contrast black and white as the man flies back to Amsterdam to visit his family. He's apparently the only passenger on the plane. Then, in scenes highly reminiscent of ALPHAVILLE (Jack Hawkins, who plays the protagonist, even somewhat resembles Eddie Constantine) he wanders through a cold, sterile, apparently abandoned and completely automated airport. As he leaves the airport to pick up his rental car, he hears the sound of wooden shoes, and smiles because he realizes that he's back home.

As he's driving, the film goes back to color. He returns to his home, only to find nobody there. He hears the sound of wooden shoes again, and goes to the door, but nobody is there. Later, he hears the sound again, accompanied by knocking, but still nobody is there. He goes to the church, assuming that it's a religious holiday and that's why there's nobody on the streets of Amsterdam.

In the church, he sees a frankly hideous and terrifying Jesus at the center of the crucifixion scene, and this is where things get weird. Okay, weirder. The soundtrack turns to screeching that sounds like it was provided by Oskar Sala, and the man takes a spear from a Centurion's hand and stabs Jesus (right in his area, too. I'll leave the ramifications of that to more subtextually inclined reviewers). He then grabs a key, runs from the church, locks the door, and tosses the key in a fountain. In a scene straight out of a horror film, something starts pounding on the church door from within. At this point, the man runs away. At least I think he runs away, but the print jumps at this point, so it looks like he teleports, which is much more effective. Of course, by this point, STALKED has been so bizarre that maybe the jump was intentional after all.

Anyway, it just gets even weirder from here as the man runs through the streets trying to escape the sound of wooden shoes stalking him. He ultimately has his epiphany, which is somehow precipitated by a flaming calliope and dancing mute man in wooden shoes, and returns home to the carnival, where all the yokels stare accusingly at him, 'to love the unlovely.' Which I guess means he's accepted Jesus, but I'm really not sure how.

Mere words can't begin to describe how bizarre and brilliant STALKED really is. It runs a lean 28 minutes (althoug IMDB lists it at 47, which makes me wonder if there's genius that I'm missing) and often feels like the Lutherans got Fellini, Godard, and Bergman to collaborate on an inspirational film, only to end up with a surreal meditation on alienation and hopelessness. Unlike other similar films, where the weirdness comes from bad acting, dated beliefs, shoddy production values, and often humorous earnestness, the weirdness in STALKED (which is very professionally produced) is completely intentional, and I'm pretty sure it'd make a great double feature with Fellini's 'Toby Dammit' segment of SPIRITS OF THE DEAD. The isolation and stillness of the film is genuinely creepy, in a CARNIVAL OF SOULS kind of way. I've only seen STALKED once so far, but several images are already burned into my mind forever.

I'm honestly not sure if it suceeds as an inspirational film. After all, its message does seem to be that if you don't accept Jesus, he will put on wooden shoes and stalk you like a black-gloved psycho in a Dario Argento giallo until you do. And I certainly don't remember that being covered in Sunday school. If they had covered it, I'd have paid more attention. But I've certainly never seen a movie that makes Jesus scarier than STALKED does, and that's quite an achievement on its own.

See STALKED. Now.
:: Jason Hyde 10:49 AM [+] ::
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Last night I finally got out and saw 28 Days Later. And it was pretty great. I'm not quite sure why it's being called a zombie movie by everyone, because it really isn't, any more than Lenzi's Nightmare City was. It's more about a contagion that turns people into stark raving mad monsters. But no less monstrous than some of the non-infected we meet later in the film. Of course. I could pretty much see that one coming. But that's really only because I've seen so many of these sorts of films, not because of any inherent flaw in this one.

The acting is well above average. Cillian Murphy as Jim, our hero for the evening, is superb. And it's always a delight to see Christopher Eccleston in anything. His devastating performance as Derek Bentley in Let Him Have It has stayed with me even though I haven't seen that film in over 10 years, and he doesn't disappoint here either, going from likeable to thoroughly despicable with tremendous ease. Naomi Harris is also terrific, thankfully avoiding the 'bad-ass chick' cliches that have become so so tiresome in recent years.

I have to admit to not being much of a Danny Boyle fan. I don't know why but Trainspotting always left me a bit cold. But his direction here is nothing short of wonderful, with an excellent sense of pacing and real feel for pathos that only heightens the horror when it comes. And the use of digital video is also to be highly commended, creating an atmosphere unlike anything else I've seen before. The digital video not only adds an urgent realism to the proceedings but a haunting surrealism as well, particularly in a gorgeous shot of our heroes driving through a field of brightly colorful flowers, which the digital video gives a distorted, otherworldly sort of glow. It's really difficult to describe and has to be seen to be fully appreciated. And once you see it, you'll never forget it.

There's also some excellent use of music by Godspeed You Black Emperor! and Brian Eno which greatly enhances the desolate atmospheres on the screen.

And then there's the ending. It's not ruining too much to say that there were two endings for this movie. The happy ending, which is the 'official' one and the darker ending that was originally intended and has now been added after the closing credits. I seldom say this, especially about 'zombie' movies, but I prefer the happy ending, if only because this movie did such an exemplary job of making me like its characters that I wanted them to have a corny happy ending. So there.

Anyway, if you haven't already, I highly recommend that you rush out to see 28 Days Later. It's certainly unlike anything else playing your local multiplex.


:: Jason Hyde 11:01 AM [+] ::
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